Welcome back everybody, I hope your weeks are all going good, and that you are having a party, cause I sure am! This week was pretty great.  We are really seeing the work progress in Langas.  Here are a few highlights:

#1

We have an investigator who is very very nice, but he likes to take things very literally! It takes a long time to explain many of the points in the lessons.  I am not sure how but at some point during the plan of salvation he started talking about the devil and asked how to know if something is of the devil and of god?  Normal question right? That's what we thought too... then he starts going of "on how being busy is of the devil because it stands for buried under Satan's yolk".  At this point me and Elder L are lost. Then he asks what swag means? We try to save the lesson and give a brief brief answer that it means free stuff where I am from.  Then he stops talking and stares at me for a good thirty seconds, takes out his Book of Mormon we gave him and states "The Book of Mormon is swag!" it was at this point I could not help but laugh as he kept taking out pamphlets pointing out that "they as well were swag", it was great.

#2

We were doing our run on Thursday, when I meet this guy doing what looks like dynamic warm up. So I do the standard runner thing and go for the low five and half out of breath "good job".  This guy grabs my hand and talks to me for a sec "about pushing your limits".  I said "thanks" then my comp caught up and we went on our way. A little bit later we are heading back and this other runner is waiting for us, stops us and says "Lead me in stretching!" Luckily I have done the WXXC cross country stretches hundreds of times so I was like sweet " Feet together and down" he does it.  We stretch with him told him what we do as missionaries, and almost taught a lesson at 6:45 in the morning.  We were supposed to meet him for a run on Saturday morning but he didn't make it, we are trying again next week.

#3

We met another pastor, this one isn't as open to learning.  In fact he likes to teach us, he gave us a nice sermon on love of Christ and we taught him about priesthood." It was a nice back and forth.  After the lesson he says that he wants to bless us.... Yeah we were a little confused to.  So he stands up puts his arms up... and grabs two ties from the wall behind him and says "Here are your blessings!" and so we had a lesson and got free ties! Whoo! The ties were swag too!

#4 

As a Mzungu a lot of people think we are dumb and rich.  And they don't think we know Swahili, however I can understand most Swahili and can speak a fair amount, not great but I can.  Anyways so we get in this Matatu, as we getting in I ask him the price of the fair? Cause the conductors like to overcharge Wazungu.  He says twenty 

(which is the right price) so we get in.  When he asks for the money I make sure again "bao bao, sindio?" "Thirty thirty" (Everyone else in the Matatu was Afrikan and paid twenty) now I was not happy about him lying. So I told him, "umesema bao bao?" "sawa sawa" I give him the money and he gives me change for thirty thirty.  I was pissed and so I told him that I wanted my money. He refuses. I tell him again a little more sternly and he gives me my correct change.  Meanwhile the guy sitting next to the conductor is laughing his head off cause this guy just got told off by a Mzungu in Swahili. Long story short be honest in all thy doings.

Other than that I have come to the conclusion all Kenyans like to make you look like an idiot.  For example when praying they usually say "Lets Pray" then we pray, but they like to have the smallest amount of time between saying 'Lets pray" and actually praying, so you like throw down your scriptures and fold your arms while you accidentally hit the door with your elbow and then try to focus on the prayer and not laugh. It is a challenge!

Until next week 

lala kala simaki

Elder Tucker

Hello everyone on Elder Tucker's email list,

This is Elder Le Cheminant, Elder Tuckers wonderful companion. In the scriptures it says by the mouth of two witnesses you may know the truth of all things. So I feel as though I can testify a little of what my companion has said to be true.

First of all the members really do want you to get fat. I am case and point. We will often be sitting in a lesson and the members will tell Elder Tucker that by the time he leaves Langas he will look like me.

At first eating a lot is a challenge, but Elder Tucker will very soon come to know it is really quite easy. He is really giving it all when it comes to not getting fat, but only time will tell.

I can also testify of the fact that Elder Tucker does make dinosaurs out of his Ugali. Frankly I am quite impressed with the shapes he makes out of his Ugali.

I am doing my best to help Elder Tucker be able to eat more. I don't know why, but the members really do like seeing him eat. Maybe it's the Ugali shaping. I have taught him the Togan twist and he has successfully applied it on many occasions. 

So you know how a lot of missionaries get fat on their missions?  I might have figured out why,  I personally haven't changed weight at all, I check all the time. Needless to say I use the full exercise time otherwise elder le cheminant says I get cranky.  However I am starving ALL THE TIME, my stomach is a bottemless pit, no joke I ate almost 300 biscuits in the past week, and its not just me every other missionary that I've talked to in this mission has said "yeah first transfer I was fine, but in the second transfer I ate like no ones business."  Today's stories are about this phenomenon which I like to call "The Members Mission" I call it that because I have literally been told by at least two members that they are trying to make me fat and that they enjoy seeing missionaries in their branch get fat.

Story #1 

You will never find someone more creative with food than a missionary the day before p day.  Take elder c for example.  He serves in huruma and will eat anything and everything.  He made one of the strangest sandwiches I have ever seen.  Peanut butter, regular butter, and chicken sausage.  It looked nasty, but apparently it tasted good.  I personally have found creative snacks, my personal favorite has been, the homemade nutter butter.  Biscuits are a big thing here, so we eat a lot of them and I enjoy to making my own nutter butters out of them, but if you buy chocolate peanut butter it makes them even tastier! (Regular peanut butter here is the 'all natural' stuff which doesn't taste as good)  My companion this morning made everything.  He literally got whatever he could out of the fridge, diced it up, then fried it with some eggs. It was really good actually.  

Story #2 

A Kenyan dinner appointment.

So usually a DA goes a little something like this.  You plan set up the appointment and have everything prepped.  Then when you arrive they begin cooking, begin, sometimes they leave you and go to the duka when you arrive.  So you sit awkwardly in their house for a little bit trying to appear as if you are not freaked out by the chicken that just decided to come in and walk around making weird sounds. Then they return and cook the food, a lot of food, like a good solid dinner for five people. Then you pray and eat, but they only eat about half a plate and expect you and your companion to eat the rest.  So you try, but frankly you can't, but you don't want to upset them so you continue to eat. After you have had an entire pot of ugali and sukumawiki you have to now teach.  So you try focusing on anything but how full you are right now.  You share a brief testimony then get out of there.  as you stand up you nearly throw up because that"s where the food can go, say "thanks" and slowly ever so slowly walk back to the flat and pray with all your might that whatever it was you just ate agrees with you.  You probably have about a fifty fifty chance of having a fairly good night, or one of the worst days of your life.  Hooray for Kenya,  I love DA's.

point #3

So if you guys want to eat what I do, its actually very easy.  Ugali you just boil water, add maze meal ( corn meal might work, not sure), then you stir it up till its nice and almost doughy.  It tastes like nothing but its very very filling and fun to eat cause you can make sculptures out of it ( I like to make dinosaurs).  Usually with ugali you make something fairly soupy,  one of my favorites is omena which are like fried sardines almost with tomatoes.  Its good, smells bad, but its good.  Chapatis are super good but they are harder to cook and take a while so if you want to learn how to do that just google it or something.  And githeri which is delicious, it consists of maze, and beans, and that's it, don"t know why its good but it is. 

I know my last couple emails have been about food, but honest that is all I can really think about.  We had a few interesting meetings this week. Mostly answering questions that our church does not worship the devil, we don"t sacrifice kids, is not the house of Joseph Smith, you know same old same old.  Its very interesting the rumors you will hear when your a missionary.  Some of them are a little disturbing, and make you question exactly how stupid a person can be.  I believe the penguins from Madagascar said it best "Smile and wave boys, smile and wave"  

Anyways ya'll have a good week, till next time.  If you haven't in a while invite the missionaries over and put them to the test, eat a little then stare at them till they eat everything on the table, don"t take no for an answer.

The still hungry Elder tucker.

Haircuts, Ujii, and Boar Holes

Well hello there, and welcome back!  On this weeks edition of my mission in Kenya I will be using the Kenyan terms for everything, it is your job to figure what I'm talking about, ready? Here we go:

Story number one

I need a haircut so we go to the local Kinyozi.  Now at the Kinyozi they have like two options, buzzed or shaved. Obviously I went with buzzed so I tell the dude "nne on sides, Nane on top" he says sao and proceeds to buzz.  He gets done with the sides of my head and then BAM! no power,  (fairly regular occurrence here).  So we wait and it gets pretty late about seven thirty and we need to be home at eight. We have a forty five minute walk to get home, so we say tutarudi kesho, and leave. I look like some hipster but its not terrible.  So we go back in the morning and try again he does a little and BAM! no power so now the top of my head is half cut and the other half is still fairly long, but we have an appointment.  I do my best to style it, so I don't look very dumb and proselyte.  We return to the kinyozi again at night and BAM! no power again, now I need to finish my haircut. I look very bad ( i know, i know, i didn't think it was possible either) so we wait and pray and BAM! power! We finish my haircut in like thirty seconds and directly after like within five seconds of paying the dude, BAM! no power. Tender mercies my friends, tender mercies.

Story 2

Boar holes,  so boar holes are in every compound here if you don't have running water.  So we go to visit someone and see a member using the boar hole. My companion and I  are like puppies at dinner, freakin out inside like the russian kid from star trek like " I CAN DO THAT! I CAN DO THAT!". So we go to help and its just mud but too late to back out now, so we role up our sleeves and proceed to clean out this boar hole, turns out there is a man in the bottom of the boar hole ( about thirty feet underground) filling the bucket with mud and plastic trash, pretty much anything you can think of came out of this boar hole. We hauled up buckets of mud and slop for like an hour, because the person we came to visit was the man in the bottom of the boar  hole.  It was fun, much much mud, so much mud, but hey we did it, and frankly it was really fun. Except laundry is gonna suck cause geuss what, I don't have a washing machine. That's right baby, scrubbing for days! Whoo! Its actually really really fun I love Kenya.

story 3

Not really a story I just thought I would tell you about a new food I've had a couple of times.  It's called ujii and its.... there.  My best description of it is this

Taste: not bad actually the taste is alright, not great but not the worst thing I've had

Texture: imagine someone vomited oatmeal into a cup that's about the texture.

Temperature: ever drank lava? No, try some ujii.  It's the same thing, while you are drinking it it is melting your insides, but hey its food so you smile and keep drinking, and dying. Your body temperature jumps like ten degrees as you start to melt into the chair you're sitting in. It's kinda hard to hide how hot it really is, so the host usually asks, "moto?" when you say, "no its good" as your tongue is losing taste buds exponentially.

Overall Kenya is a party.  I finished my first transfer, I'm still alive, I love my companion.  I can actually talk to people in Kiswahili kinda ish. and I am having loads of fun.  I am staying in Langas for the next six weeks so we will see what happens.  And I have threatened to fight so many cows and goats and sheep I have lost count.
(For some reason Teron has always threatened cows, who just ignore him-per mom)

Tutoanana wiki Kesho, ende salama

From Dad's letter :

 To answer your questions,

We have been teaching the pastor but we haven't got permission to teach his congregation. However the pastor keeps sending us referrals to teach. When he gets enough people knowing what we are about he will send his congregation to us. It is a very complicated plan but it is working; it will take a while though. The Pastor is meeting with the President in February.

The Lesson with the runner went good, turns out he has had a lot of injuries as of late.  I don"t know how much he wants to hear about the gospel, but he likes to meet with us and gives us food. So we are taking it very slow with him.

We have been teaching A LOT, we haven't had any baptisms but we have one or two that are close. The problem with Kenya is there is no schedule so people say that they can meet with us; then they are called into work and we get bounced. We have eleven new investigators this week alone and still getting more. We have had a few days this week where we had appointments from eight in the morning to seven at night. All day, no lunch breaks or dinner just all day teaching, needless to say we kinda crash at night.  In fact we have a lesson tonight with a man who we think might believe we are devil worshipers. He wants us to cast a spell on his wife that left him, should be exciting.  Gotta love Kenya, happens more than you'd think.

Welcome all to this weeks adventures in Kenya as you can see in the subject I had a nice bash session with someone.  As well I'd like to personally Thank my Woods Cross High School coaches name Sam, Zach, Hoody, and Coach Allen for helping meet a new investigator this week.  Details below.

Story #1

Y'all ready for some fun? here goes:

So we did exchanges this week and on exchanges Elder C and myself  (we are both white, don't speak very much swahili, and are both still in training)  were talking to a return missionary. He said contacting works actually really well in Africa if you do enough of it.  Now my comp was in Huruma experiencing the same thing so, after exchanges we decide to up our contacting game big time. 

 Anyways jump ahead to the next day we are contacting after being bounced by a couple people, and this guy comes up and takes a book and then looked at it.  So we introduce ourselves, you know the standard intro stuff, we talk a little share a bit about the Book of Mormon, and this dude asks to see my bible.  So I'm like okay chill, here ya go,  he looks at it and gives it back.  He seems pleased. Then he starts asking really dumb questions, like questions you know he thought of before hand just to bug us and to stump us.  Now I'm getting excited cause I'm locked and loaded ready to go and this dude has no idea.  He starts asking about why we don't believe in the trinity.  ( Now when he brought up the trinity it had been about five-ten minutes, and we needed to go or we would be late for an appt.) I know at this point he is just here to bug us, So I'm like , lets go boy, lets go.  Long story short we talked for about THIRTY SECONDS more before this guy says, "Allow me to call you when i can better defend myself, you make a good point." He left I counted it as a win.

Story #2

Flashback to a morning run a couple weeks ago,  While hurdling a barrier I get a compliment from some dude saying I had beautiful form running and steepling.  No idea who he was, but he was stretching and he was a runner, cool dud!.  Flash forward to Friday, we are walking home from an appointment and contacting a little and some dude comes up and says "Yeah I know you"  ( we are the only two white guys in Langas, this is not uncommon) so we are like "yeah, we are the wazungu we are around here a lot."  He's like "no, you're the runner with the pretty stride".  I met you a couple weeks ago while I was stretching" At this point I'm super happy, one because this guy is a runner, two because he complimented my form and three because potential new investigator.  We ended up talking for a little while,  He is super cool and we are meeting with him again this week to teach him the gospel.  The lord uses the talents you have.  Pretty much Follow your coaches advice because not only do you get faster times, it will help you meet people when you get called to Kenya.

Elder L isn't against running as much now.

Hope you've enjoyed this weeks adventures in Kenya,

Tutoanana wiki kesho

Elder Tucker ( The one you actually care about) aka the Real Tarzan

Hello I bet you're wondering why I've gathered you all together today.  That is a great question and as soon as I know the answer; I will let you know. In the meantime,  here are some adventures from the week...

#1

My companion and I get a call last Monday at about five saying that this dude needs to meet with us asap.  Now getting in touch with this certain investigator is difficult.  We had taught him the restoration and Book of Mormon last lesson.  We didn't quite know what to expect.  So we ask him where?  He was right next to the church building which is very close to our flat. We were like okay just stay there, and we will be there shortly.  He tells us he has been reading the Book of Mormon everyday, and loves it.  Now last lesson he was very quiet about his religious background.  Yeah this guy is a pastor at his own church and asks us to go to his church and introduce the Book of Mormon to his whole congregation.  So I am like what the what, and he bears his testimony that it is word of god. My companion and I are like "well can we do that".  So we talk to pres and it turns out we actually might be able to teach this whole congregation but, he has to meet with president first. Most interesting lesson we had this week.

#2

New years,  this is a two part

Part 1, New years eve.

We had a seminar with the mission president and Kitale elder.  Fun time learned some cool stuff,  memorized some scriptures. Sister m, presidents wife, gets us all pizza.  One pizza per companonship, now I hadn't eaten that day cause the morning was nuts. I eat like half our pizza some of other elders who didn't want any, I had a lot of pizza.  Then it turns out they are doing a missionary reunion at the same chapel.  And when you are offered food here you take it, to be polite, so we are offered a plate of food. Keep in mind I pretty much just ate a whole pizza, so we say yah "a little".  This lady dishing up the food, proceeds to give me and the other elders a mountain of rice, potatoes and chapatis. Whoever thought I might starve here you were WRONG. I am worried I can't finish this buffet bar that they've put on my plate, but you gotta try to be polite.  I did it, it was the hardest thing I have ever done. It was good food but my stomach is not meant to eat the equivalent of five meals in an hour.  Now at this point I am so full that it looks I am six months pregnant with twins.  Then we have to go back to Langas, Matatus(bus) and full stomachs don't go very well together. I made it and only almost threw up like four times haha. The rest of the day was slow, very but we made it and went to bed

Part 2,  The surprise

For any of you wondering new years is a very big deal in Kenya, neither me nor my companion knew this. So we are asleep at ten thirty cause we were frankly full and tired. Midnight rolls around and all of the sudden... THE ENTIRE COUNTRY OF KENYA STARTS YELLING AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS!! FIREWORKS ARE GOING OFF!! THE APARTMENT BUILDING IS SHAKING! So i jump out of bed scared out of my mind and can barely hear anything and me and elder l are like what is going on!? Why is everyone screaming, then we remembered it was new years. I calmed down a little but I thought there was like an air raid or something.  The screaming went for about an hour then everything cooled down, and I went back to sleep. If you can get a Kenyan New years alarm you will never sleep through your alarm, ever.

Anyways, have a great week yall. I was gonna do the same bat time same bat channel thing but Jeron already beat me to it,  guess that happens when you're twins.  Well love you guys

Elder Tucker (The Superior) that's right Jeron, I said it, you can fight me.